


Humans are Strange

by Derpboom



Series: Plot Bunnies [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Actually it should be more like, Adrenaline, Anxiety Pidge, Gender-Neutral Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, He's got good aim, Hunk (Voltron) is a Good Friend, Hunk is a soccer mom, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Keith is pissed, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, Lance is a Meme, Logan Lance, Logic Lance, Persistence hunting, Pidge builds stuff, Prince Keith (Voltron), Princey Keith, Sniper Lance (Voltron), Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Thomas Sanders References, Virgil Pidge, as well as, happy keith, or - Freeform, shower thoughts, thrill seeking, woooooo, you better run
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-28
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2019-09-01 15:28:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16767868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Derpboom/pseuds/Derpboom
Summary: I haven't seen enough of these so here is some Voltron based on the Humans are Weird posts on tumblr and stuff.[On hiatus until further notice]





	1. Scared Singing ft. Spooked Lance

Lance had a problem. He was stuck on a galra cruiser, separated from his team, and had no way back to Blue. Plus, he had somehow managed to corner himself on the lower levels of the ship, where there was little to no light. He was scared, and Pidge's creepy commentary over the comms wasn't helping.

Peering around a corner, Lance decided that when he got back, he was never sleeping in the dark again. Breaking into a light jog, he stumbled a few steps, still not used to the low lighting. Taking a deep breath, he did what he always did in situations like this. “I hate the daaarrk~~. I'm gonna pee my paanttss~~. I wanna go hooommeee~~~.”

Singing the words softly under his breath, Lance keeps moving, determined to get back to the castle.

Back at the castle, Pidge was having the time of their life. They had found the Altean equivalent of GarageBand, and were making spooky music to play over the comms and freak Lance out some more. Hunk had protested this for a while, but had soon given up trying to stop them, and was now sitting off to the side with Shiro and Keith, who were highly amused by this point.

Across the room, Coran and Allura were getting more and more unsettled by Lance's singing. After a few more ticks of sing-songy cursing and strange statements, Coran finally spoke up.

“Why is Number 3 singing?” he asked, worryingly. “It's rather creepy and out of character for him.”

Looking up from their This is Halloween remix, Pidge was fast to answer. “It's pretty normal for people to sing when scared back on Earth. It keeps your mind more focused and helps you think straight.”

“I do it all the time,” Hunk piped up. “I guess you just never heard me because I do it quietly.”

“There was this website back at home where people could share videos.” said Keith, seemingly randomly. “One of the things that people would record themselves doing was playing scary games. It's really common to hear the players singing to themselves whenever they start to get stressed.”

A look of understanding came across the Altean's faces. “I get it now.” Allura exclaimed. “This makes so much more sense.”

Shiro and Keith shared a look, and the black paladin sighed. “Fine. I’ll admit, Markiplier was funny. There, you happy?”

Keith sat back with a smug grin on his face. “Very.” He said smugly, girn creeping wider as he stood. “Takashi Shirogamer.”

Keith bolted out of the room, Shiro hot on his heels. “YOU PROMISED NOT TO SPEAK OF THAT AGAIN!”

When the door closed behind them, a shrill SCREEACH came through the comms, and Pidge almost died laughing as Lance was scared by his own shadow.

“How much longer are we gonna wait to go fetch him?” Hunk asked, chuckling along. “I love messing with my bro, but this is going a bit long.”

Pidge looked up with a scheming grin on their face. “Either another varga or until he figures out that I already shut down all the sentries on the ship.” They turned back to their GarageBand. “Who's genius idea was it to make a sentries-only ship anyways?”


	2. Toothy Grins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Showing teeth is a hostile gesture for most species, so what happens when Keith and Lance grin at eachother on an alien planet? Chaos. And Thomas Sanders, but that's not important.

The planet that Voltron had landed on recently was a bit….strange. They had just finished fighting off a massive Galra fleet, and the aliens had invited them to a feast in their honor. Not wanting to be rude, Allura had accepted, and the Paladins found themselves seated at tables, surrounded by aliens showering them with gifts and thanks.

Shiro looked tense, still not very comfortable with being swarmed. Pidge and Hunk were chattering away, intrigued by the new technology they had been gifted. Allura was preoccupied with securing an alliance, and Coran was nowhere to be seen. Spotting Keith, once again being hugged against his will, Lance sauntered over.

“Doing alright in there Mullet?” He crowed, grinning wide, teeth and all, watching Keith squirm in the alien’s grip. “Need a hand?”

Keith looked up and grinned back, unaware of the gasps of the watching aliens. “I'm doing just fine cargo pilot. What makes you say that?”

A stinging retort was interrupted by someone in the crowd. “The Blue one has challenged and the Red one accepted! We must prepare!”

The aliens scattered, leaving a shocked Keith and Lance standing there. A few seconds later, Allura came running up, the rest of the Paladins hot on her heels.

“What happened?” Allura asked, disappointed mom look already on her face. The others just looked confused, and Shiro also looked a little worried. “Why is there talk of you two getting ready to fight each other?”

Lance and Keith looked at eachother, then shrugged, Keith answering the best he could. “We're just as confused as you are princess. All that we did was grin at each other, like this,” he explained, grinning and flashing his teeth, not noticing Allura recoil a little. “And they just ran off, screaming about getting ready for battle.”

Pidge and Hunk nodded in understanding, while Shiro relaxed a little. Allura, on the other hand, was panicking. “What made you two so hostile with each other? Did something happen? Why do you need to fight?”

“Chill, princess.” Pidge said, raising her hands in a placating manner. “Showing your teeth must mean a challenge to aliens. Back on Earth, smiling like that is how we show others how happy we are.”

This explanation calmed Allura a little bit, but the worry still remained. “Then how do we tell the people this?”

Again, Lance and Keith locked eyes and grinned, mischief clear in their gaze. “We don't.” replied Lance, seemingly flippantly, ignoring Allura's gasp of disbelief. “We give them a fight.” He says, “Just not how they think.”

Leveling his gaze back to Keith again, they had a conversation that only Pidge and Hunk seemed to understand.

“Rap?”

“Something already pre-written.”

“Thomas Sanders?”

“Logic vs. Princey?”

“That’s the one.”

“As long as I'm Princey.”

“Deal.”

They shook hands, and Pidge squealed in excitement. “Please Please Please let me do the intro!” Lance laughed.

“I don't see why not.” At this, one of the aliens ran up, exclaiming how the preparations were done, and how the Blue one and the Red one needed to follow him to the arena. Sharing one last smug look, Lance and Keith followed their guide. Pidge tagged along, telling the guide what they would need for the battle, leaving Hunk, Allura, and Shiro to head to the arena themselfs.

The three of them met Coran outside the stadium it was being held in, looking nervous at the recent development. After filling him in on what was going on, a new alien led them to a balcony, where Allura joined the king at his seat.

Confirming that Lance and Keith were ready, Pidge was summoned in to begin the battle. They had really used their time wisely, and were fitted out in full on Virgil cosplay, purple hair, eyeshadow and all. They walked to the center, and the crowd roared. Holding up their hand for silence, the aliens obeyed. But they were not expecting what Pidge did next.

“AGGRESSIVE BOUTS OF BEAT POETRY!” They yelled, and everyone jumped, except for Hunk, who was looking more and more excited by the minute.

“LOGIC LANCE!” They cried, as Lance strutted in, wearing new clothes. He was dressed in cargo pants, a black shirt, and a blue tie, looking more put together than anyone had seen him. He was also wearing fake glasses, and, like Pidge, had new purple coloring in his hair. Before they could think into it too much, Pidge continued their introduction.

“VERSUS! PRINCEY KEITH!” As Keith walked into the arena, all Shiro and Allura could do was stare.

“He’s actually wearing the outfit!” Hunk squealed, jumping up and down in excitement. “Lance got him to wear the outfit!”

Coran nodded in approval. “He pulls it off quite nicely, but I wonder where he got the sword? Does Lance not get a weapon?”

True to the character, Keith was wearing a Disney prince-esque outfit, red sash, sword, and all. Like the other two, Keith also had purple in his hair, which confused the Alteans and Shiro. After voicing their confusion, Hunk explained, watching Lance and Keith shake hands, grinning like they were sharing a secret. “The person who originally wrote the rap has purple hair, so the characters he creates have purple hair too.”

Any further explanation was cut off as Pidge yelled “GO!”

Taking his queue, Keith stepped forward, pushing Lance back a little, taking center stage.

“Ladies, lords, and non-binary royalty,” He began, nodding to Pidge, then winking at Allura. Everyone was shocked at the new flamboyant behavior coming from the most stoic paladin.

“Watch me as I beat this geek and do it joyously!” Keith continued, motioning at Lance, who gasped dramatically and pretended to be hurt as the aliens cheered.

“I'll vanquish any villain who has the gall to toy with me. Ask the Druid Witch, she knows the drill. You’re screwed ROYALLY!” He finished, brandishing the sword and pointing it at Lance, who grinned even wider as the crowd screamed.

“Nice lyric tweak.” Lance whispered, brushing past to reach the center. “Now watch as a real master does it.”

Back in the stands, the king looked to be enjoying the show, while Allura and Shiro were in shock at the display. Allura because of the ‘battle’, and Shiro at Keith's sudden change of behavior. Coran was getting excited, bouncing around with Hunk as Lance stepped up.

The arena fell silent as Lance began, and poor Allura and Shiro were shocked again by how good at acting the two were.

“Stricken with clairvoyancy, events occurred as I'd foreseen,” He started, pushing the glasses up his nose, movements somewhat robotic, demeanor completely different from his usual.

“Your verse was weak, your rapping stinks,” Lance rapped, poking Keith's chest at each roast, pushing him back as he stepped forward.

The whole crowd was into it now. Everyone was nodding to the beat Lance had set, absorbed in the scene before them.

“Flamboyantly employing these trisyllabic rhymes, psh, I can match that easily.” He continued, as Pidge started making their way to the center, ready to back Lance up at the next part. Keith was getting into it too, acting shocked and wounded and generally over the top. The aliens thought is was real, but everyone else could tell he was having fun, the gleam in his eyes unmistakably bright.

“I beat you every time so you do not want beef with me Princey! I drown out lesser emcees when I flow, there's no avoiding me.”

“That's true.” Hunk giggled, still dancing with Coran. Coran looked at him curiously. “There's no getting out of a rap battle with Lance. There was at least one a week back at the Garrison. Lance never lost.” Coran gave a hum of appreciation and turned back to the match, where Lance was getting even more cheers from the crowd.

Fixing his tie, Lance winked at Keith. “Under pressure I rise up, holla at ya buoyancy!”

Behind him, Pidge let out a cheer, and the aliens quickly copied them. Lance waved at the crowd, but quickly turned his attention back to Keith, who winked back, a proud look on his face.

“Diadems are worn on capita. I had this battle on lock like Attica!”

“What is he talking about?” whispered Allura, still looking a little shocked.

“Talk later.” Shiro whispered back, more relaxed now that he watched the ‘fight’. “Just let them finish.”

“You're through, go home Princey, pack it up. I claimed to be the better bard and I backed it up.” Lance adjusted the glasses one last time, and then posed, back to back with Pidge, who had been waiting behind him the entire time. Keith pretended to get hit once more, then safely fell on the ground, seemingly defeated.

There was a moment of quiet, and then the crowd cheered so loudly that they were sure that it could be heard on Earth. Lance held out his hand to Keith, and Keith took it, letting Lance help him stand back up. They bro-hugged, and the aliens cheered once more as they walked out of the arena.

Once they had finally made it back to the castleship and taken off, the group gathered in the lounge. Pidge, Lance, and Keith were still in their costumes, and had refused to take them off. Lance had grabbed clothes for a Patton costume for Hunk, and he didn't escape the hug for a solid varga.

“Well,” Allura started, breaking the silence. “Did you learn your lesson?”

The paladins exchanged looks, smiled, and at the same time, cried “NOPE!” and wandered out of the room, debating what to do when it inevitably happens again.

Allura turned to Coran, who gave a hopeless shrug. “Humans are weird.”

He had a point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me THREE HOURS to write. I'm proud of it though, so yeah. Feel free to leave a kudos or comment, and I do take requests and suggestions! The next chapters of Earth Gamez should be up sometime soon. In the meantime, you get this. Thanks for reading!
> 
> Sidenote- If the Paladins were the sanders sides, this is how I see everybody:  
> Lance is Roman  
> Pidge is Logan  
> Hunk is Patton  
> Keith is Virgil  
> Shiro is Thomas
> 
> That's all k thnks by


	3. Throwing Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance gets to show off his throwing arm. Allura and Coran are shook. Shiro is proud.
> 
> I dunno how to feel about this chapter so just take it. I tried.

“Hey Hunk! Watch this!”

Lance was bored again. It had been three days from their last rescue mission, and he was almost bursting with energy right now. He needed something to entertain himself or someone was gonna get mad.

Luckily, Pidge had been anticipating something like this for a while, and had come prepared. They had managed to make a basketball, and were working on a hoop. At the moment, Lance had to settle for various baskets and divots around the castle.

Gathered in the lounge, the group watched Lance line up his shot. With a cry of “Lebron James!” He threw the ball, bouncing it off the walls and the back of the couch before it landed in the basket.

Pidge and Shiro clapped politely, while Keith nodded appreciatively. “Good shot.”

“Thanks!” Lance beamed, catching the ball after Hunk threw it. “My aim doesn't only apply to guns you know.”

“I have an idea!” Pidge exclaimed, glasses gleaming as Allura walked in, seemingly confused by the number of baskets in the room. “Let's see how accurate Lance is! I'm almost finished with the hoop, and I just need to set it up in the training room.”

“We could make it more challenging by having him throw different things!” Hunk cheered excitedly, already typing out a plan on his datapad.

Turning to go set up the training room, Pidge almost runs into Allura before apologizing and continuing down the hall. Hunk follows a moment later, tapping the datapad and muttering to himself. Allura stands in the doorway for another minute before coming in and sitting next to Shiro.

“What is Pidge doing?” She asked, still slightly worried.

Lance grinned at her, winking as he spun the ball on his finger, splayed out on the couch. “They want to know if I'm exaggerating my sharpshooting skills.” He said, sitting up carefully, as to not drop the ball on his face. That attempt was ruined by Keith smacking the ball, sending it flying out the open door and down the hall.

“Hey!” Lance cried, sitting up fully. “What was that for?” Scrambling off of the seat, he chases after the ball, grumbling about Keith being a meanie the whole way. Keith just leaned back against his seat once more, self-satisfied look never leaving his face.

An hour later, Pidge called them to the training deck. They had really outdone themself this time. A regulation basketball hoop was set up near one side of the room, while other targets of all shapes and sizes lined the other walls. A field goal post and a soccer goal had also been set up, and they were pushed off to the side, seemingly for later on. Behind the hoop, there was a large table lined with seemingly random objects. There were a few guns, a slingshot, and a javelin on the table, which made everything else seem strange. A pile of paper balls, a frisbee, a boomerang, even some rocks. Pidge had also managed to make a baseball, a soccer ball, and a football using the same materials as the basketball.

Lance squealed with excitement and ran to the table, looking back and forth at all the items. Hunk and Keith joined him, arguing over what to use first. Pidge was in the observation deck, setting up some sort of point system, Coran looking over their shoulder and interjecting every once in a while. As Shiro and Allura made their way to Pidge, Lance seemed to decide on something and picked it up.

Is was the baseball, and he turned to the Alteans, tossing the ball up and catching it, getting used to the feel. “Watch this!” He called, turning to face the room.

Seemingly picking a target, Lance wound up his pitch and threw, the ball practically disappearing with how fast it went. Allura and Coran watched in shock as a target all the way across the room shattered, the ball falling to the floor.

Lance hummed in satisfaction, turning back to the others. Hunk, Shiro, and Keith were clapping, while Pidge had a sly grin on their face. Ignoring the looks of shock from the two aliens, Lance retrieved the ball and came back, passing the ball back and forth between his hands.

“Did you get a speed reading for that Pidge?” Lance asked eagerly, dancing in place. “I think I broke my record!”

“90 miles per hour.” Pidge said, and was interrupted by Hunk and Lance cheering, breaking out into a complicated handshake. Shiro clapped proudly, and Keith looked at Lance with barely concealed shock.

Looking at the Alteans, Pidge was the one to snap them out of their stupor. “Is something wrong?”

“How did he throw it so fast? And accurately? Did he have special training? Could all of you do that?” Allura asked, rapid-fire questions being asked.

Lance held up a hand, handshake forgotten momentarily. “Cool your jets princess. Go more slowly and I can answer your questions.”

Taking a deep breath, Allura started over. “How did he throw it that fast and it still hit the target? Even the galra can't throw things very accurately, even if they can throw things fast.”

The humans grinned at each other for a moment before Lance answered again. “All humans can throw things decently fast and accurate,” he began, surprising Allura. “Some people just have a better arm than others. I used to play baseball, a game that revolves around throwing the ball fast and accurate back on Earth.” He continued, motioning with his arms as he explained. “My fastest pitch used to be about 76 miles per hour, so I've really improved while in space.”

“Interesting.” Coran nodded, twirling his mustache. “But you still haven't answered how you did it.”

“I can take this one.” Pidge interjected, tapping away at their laptop. “Our muscles develop in a way that lets us grip things better than any other species on our planet. Even the animals most similar to us, apes, don't have the accuracy that we do.”

Satisfied with the explanation they were given, the group continued to watch Lance play around with more projectiles.

Later on, Lance would forget that most aliens don't have the dexterity of humans and throw a piece of paper into a wastebasket from five feet away during a diplomatic meeting. Before he threw, he unintentionally gained everyone's attention by going "This bitch empty. YEET!" and chucking the ball.

The diplomats then proceeded to flip out. It took half an hour to get them to calm down.

Voltron had almost no problems securing alliances from then on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading my garbage. Kudos are appriciated, and comments and suggestions/requests make my day. Hope you guys are having a great holiday season! K thnks by


	4. Persistence Hunting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Been forever, blah blah blah. JUST TAKE IT. HUMANS ARE SCARY OK? ALSO IF YOU CATCH MY TINY REFERENCE I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER.

Pidge peered at the picture on their screen, narrowing their eyes as words scrolled across. “How are we even gonna find this guy? He moves in bursts of speed of up to 35mph! The fastest out of us is Lance, and he can only go about 25!”

“This is the only way to get an alliance with this planet.” Allura stated calmly, trying to calm Pidge down. “We'll figure something out.” She added, glancing around the table. Everyone else looked just as frustrated, swiping through information rapidly.

“Face it Allura. It's impo-” Keith jumped as he was interrupted by Lance, who shot up like a rocket.

“IDEA!” He cried, looking smug. “I can chase him!”

Shiro facepalmed. “We literally just said that would be a bad idea Lance. Were you even listening?”

“Nonononono!” Lance laughed. “Not like that! Don't any of you remember science or history?”

Hunk perked up. “He's right guys!” He exclaimed, ignoring the strange looks from everyone else. “Lance, that's genius!”

“What are you nerds talking about?” Pidge deadpanned. “There's no way!”

“But there is!” Lance insisted. “Hunk help me out here!”

Hunk grinned. “Outrun.”

“Outrun!” Lance replied gleefully, much to everyone's confusion.

“Outlast.”

“OUTLAST!” There came a small ‘Oh’ from Keith as he caught on. Shiro, Pidge and Allura turned in confusion, and he cut Hunk off to explain.

“It's how humans used to hunt. We aren't built for speed, but the average human can walk for days on end if they needed to. All we have to do is outlast the target and wear him down so we can capture him.”

“But who would do it?” Asked Allura, somewhat curious.

Keith looked over. “Lance, it was your idea. Are you up for it?”

Lance’s eyes widened and he puffed out his chest. “Leave it to LanceyLance! I just gotta get supplies! Hunk! Come help me!”

The two left the room, leaving the rest in shock, staring at Keith. Noticing the looks, he glared at them. “What?”

“Nothing!”

\--------------------------

The group watched Lance jog off to where the target had last been seen. Pidge had added a video camera to Lance's suit just incase he ran into trouble, and was streaming the footage to the main monitor in the command deck.

“Are you sure this is going to work?” Allura asked, still skeptical about the whole endeavor.

“Of course, princess.” Lance called through the comms, “It's just gonna take a few varga. I'd get comfy if I were you.”

A flash of movement crossed the screen.

“There he goes!” Lance cried, beginning to lope after him at a steady pace. “I'm gonna keep minimal contact as to not run out of breath faster. Wish me luck!”

The comms cut off, and the wait began. As time went on, they watched the alien spot Lance and dash away, only for Lance to approach again, creating a cycle. Little by little, the target was slowing down, not able to catch his breath. Meanwhile, Lance kept up a steady jog, careful not to go too fast. He and Hunk had packed water pouches, and every now and again would take a swig of one.

The group (except for Hunk, who kept cheering ‘You're doing great sweetie!’) watched in stunned silence as Lance slowly gained on him. Finally after 2 varga, the target collapsed, too exhausted to escape as Lance jogged up and slapped cuffs on him. Grinning as the others cheered, Lance flicked his comm back on.

“Ready for pickup.” He laughed tiredly. “You know where to find me.”

Allura watched Hunk run out of the room, heading to pick Lance up in Yellow, Pidge hot on his heels. They had insisted on coming along too, to make sure Lance hadn't overdone anything. Shivering, Allura made her way to the console and pulled up a map, ready to guide Hunk there.

‘Humans can be downright terrifying.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Braces are off! WOOT WOOT! In honor of this I will be uploading a braces chapter sometime soon. School has started back up though, so don't expect too much. It's my last semester of high school, so WOOOOO! I got an acceptance from KSU the other day too, so things are going gr8!
> 
> Hope you guys are doing ok,and as always, kudos give me love. Comments and suggestions make my day. They also give me a nice happ feelin make it stop i love it.
> 
> K thnks by


	5. Thrill Seekers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids make a mess and Shiro is Done™
> 
> Keith and Lance just wanna do it again.

Allura and Coran were walking side by side down the halls of the castle, peeking into each door as they passed. The paladins had been missing for hours, and there was no sign of them anywhere. They had run off earlier, claiming that they wanted to explore more. Even Shiro had joined in, claiming to be going to supervise, but the gleam in his eyes giving him away.

Trudging further down the hall, the Alteans became aware of a loud CRASH, and then lots of shouting around the corner, there was music blasting over the speakers, and the shouting got louder. Sharing a concerned glance, the two rounded the corner and came face-to-face with the strangest thing they've seen so far.

~~~~scene break as I describe the chaos~~~~

First, let's take a look at Hunk. Decked out in black slacks and a white shirt, long trench coat and deerstalker on, he looked like a really bad Sherlock. What made it even stranger was the harness on his waist, attached to a pulley and rope rig on the ceiling. He was currently acting as an anchor, holding up one of the others by keeping the rope tight.

Up above him in the rafters was Pidge, checking the rope they were tying and making sure it was tight. They were clad in jeans and hiking boots, as well as a t-shirt and flannel and a winter coat. They had a knife strapped the their thigh, and a harness like Hunk's around their waist, though theirs was attached to the pole with makeshift lobster claws (it's a climbing thing DON'T@ ME).

Dangling next to them was Lance, who Hunk was holding up. He was dangling midair, hands slung behind his head, reclining in the harness. Like both before, he was wearing not his usual clothes. Lance looked the most casual of the group, but made up for it in detail. He was wearing jeans and sneakers, as well as a backpack that had 'reinds’ written on the back. He was also clad in a large red hoodie with several patches sewn onto it, with white headphones strung around his neck.

Not visible at first glance, Keith was up at the highest point in the rafters, deep in the shadows. He was clad in a harness as well, and had his own pair of lobster claws. One attached to a pole behind him, the other attached to a zip on the line in front of him. He was wearing a blue jumpsuit, with red accents on the belt and shoulders. There was a fake scar around his right eye, courtesy of Lance, and thick white boots on his feet.

Shiro was on the ground at the end of the hallway, managing to look mad, disappointed, and excited at the same time. He was clad in a long black coat with a purple symbol on the back, black pants, and black shoes. He was also wearing a white shirt, with a very long purple scarf wrapped around his neck. His left hand and forearm were wrapped in bandages, and he was holding his datapad.

There was a rope that came to an end right next to Shiro, and there was a huge pile of pillows and cushions right in front of it, as well as the area leading up to it. The door to the room next to him was open, and there were pillows spilling out into the hallway. A med kit was sitting in the corner, and the words “I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!” were playing on repeat courtesy of Pidge's Musical Machine (still need a name for this give me ideas in the comments!).

We now return to your regularly scheduled fanfiction.

~~~~magical scene change lines~~~~

Allura and Coran burst around the corner, and the shouting stopped immediately, followed quickly by the music. The paladins were quiet as the two scanned the room, taking in the general chaos around them. Slowly spinning in his harness, Lance was the first to speak up.

“Let's be honest, this isn't the worst thing you've caught us doing.”

Pidge laughed, Shiro facepalmed, and Hunk snickered as he adjusted his grip on the rope holding Lance.

“What are you doing?!” Allura cried in shock. “You could get really hurt going up that high! And where's Keith?”

“It's only like, 40 feet! Live a little Allura!” Pidge called from their perch, sharing an evil grin with Lance. “And Keith will be down in a minute, so stay right where you are!”

Right as she said that, Keith's voice echoed down from the ceiling, startling the Alteans as they searched for the owner of the voice.

“LANE CLEAR?”

Shiro looked up from his datapad, scanning the hall before looking up to Pidge, who gave him a thumbs up. Cupping his hands around his mouth, he called back. “CLEAR!”

“ZIPPING!” Keith's voice echoed.

“ZIP ON!” Shiro yelled, then slipped into the open doorway, scarf fluttering as he moved.

It was quiet for a minute, before a faint wizzing was heard, steadily growing louder. Confused, Allura turned to ask Pidge what was happening but was stopped by Coran tugging her dress and pointing to the ceiling. Looking up, she watched as Keith zipped past quickly, blowing Allura's hair as he passed. He cheered as he flew by, sloping steadily downward until he hit the pillow pile at the end of the hall, causing pillows to fly in the air and bury him in fluff.

Lance cheered before clambering on to the ledge with Pidge, unhooking the rope and climbing high until he disappeared into the shadows where Keith had been.

Allura hurried over to the pillow pile as Keith popped out, whooping and scattering feathers all over Shiro. “Test run complete! The zip is safe to ride! I wanna go again!” Laughing softly, Shiro pulled him out of the pile, dislodging feathers as he went. Allura on the other hand, froze as she took a moment to process what Keith said.

“THAT WAS A TEST RUN?!” She screeched, eyes wide as she gripped his shoulders. “WHY DID YOU DO IT?”

Shiro stepped up, gently peeling her fingers off and freeing Keith. Keith took this chance to escape, running over to Hunk, who was explaining the mechanics of the homemade zipline to Coran. Sighing again, he turned to answer the panicked princess. “Because I told them not to.” Noticing the look on her face, he laughed as he explained.

“We found the replicator room and Pidge started making things. Then Lance got the idea to make a zipline in the hallway, I said no, they ignored me and did it anyways.”

“Not how did you do it,” Allura insisted, catching Shiro off guard. “Why? What is it with you humans and heights and speed and willingly risking your lives?”

Shiro's mouth made an 'o’ shape as he nodded in understanding, pulling Allura back as Lance shot past, cheering all the way.

“Adrenaline, mostly.” He said, earning a look of confusion from Allura. Noticing this, he tried to clarify. “Humans as a whole have some kind of love for danger. Some have more than others, and people can even make a living by doing dangerous things. Standing on the railing on top of a tall building, swallowing swords, and even hunting dangerous animals. All of these are things that thrill seekers will do. Even younger humans like danger, though they are usually stopped by their parents when they could get hurt too badly. Others who don't make a living off of danger still occasionally do these things for fun.”

He paused to let Allura process the information, Lance walking over to join them. “Don't forget recreational consumption of poison.” Lance added, causing Allura to whip her head in his direction, making him laugh again. “People used to drink poisons to build up a resistance to their effects.”

Snapping out of her stupor, Allura shook her head to clear her thoughts. “And the outfits?”

Lance just shrugged, looking down at his outfit before grabbing Shiro's arm and dragging him away towards Hunk, who was waiting with a harness. “I thought it would be fun. Now if you'll excuse us, Shiro promised to take a turn if Keith made it safely.”

Missing the pleading glance Shiro sent her, Allura locked eyes with Coran, who also looked surprised, and shrugged helplessly.

'Humans are INSANE’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow it's been FOREVER since I wrote anything for this fic. There was no inspiration for this fic, and I only just now caught some. Hope you guys like it!
> 
> Also, if you can guess who everyone (besides Hunk) is, you will be my new favorite person. I'll make sure to say who was who in the next chapter.
> 
> In the meantime, make sure to drop a kudos if you liked it! Comments and suggestions fuel new chapters and give me the love I never receive from my siblings. Have a gr8 day! K thnks by


	6. WhY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shower thoughts with Lance

"What makes the noise when you snap your fingers?"

"Oh no."

"People wear special clothes when they go jogging so that others know they aren't being chased."

"Lance I swear to God."

"Just ignore him Keith."

"Is water wet?"

"Nope. Not going there."

"I am confused. What is he talking about?"

"Nothing important Allura, just ignore him. Keith, put your knife away!"

"Just a small stab?"

"NO."

"Aww..."

"What if everything you see right now is just a hallucination caused by inhaling oxygen?"

"...Jesus."

"Cannibalism could stop both world hunger and overpopulation."

"Lance, are you ok?"

"Technically, you can go the rest of your life without eating."

".........."

"Since Earth is the third planet in the solar system, everything on Earth is a third-world problem."

"Laaannnnccceee...."

"How long does someone have to be dead before it's considered archaeology instead of grave robbing?"

"I SWEAR TO GOD LANCE!"

"Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?"

"THAT'S IT!"

"KEITH NO!"

"KEITH YES!"

"YoU bEtTeR rUn!"

"No memeing Pidge!"

"YOU'RE NOT MY DAD!"

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

"At least try to not maim him!"

"NO PROMISES SHIRO!"

"........ Never speak of this again?"

"Yup."

"HeLp MeEEEE!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is trash.
> 
> K thnks by

**Author's Note:**

> I dunno if I wanna be proud of this one or not. Leave suggestions or criticism or both in the comments! Kudos make me overly happy, so feel free to leave those too. Leave everything. Stay. I'm lonely. Never leave. Now you're stuck. Might as well make the most of it.
> 
> k thnks fr rdng by


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